2006年4月26日 星期三

4/27/2006

A quiet guy?

"Are you a quiet guy?", a white guy ask me while chatting on the bus. He's passionate, talkative and had TBI (traumatic brain injury) before. Lots of people changed their personality after the trauma, I was thinking.

"You look so young!", he said what they always think about me after knowing my real age.

"You gotta talk to people, it's good for you!" I don't know. Americans are always talking. Am I too quiet?

"I'm not a native English speaker". I can only answer him back now with this way.

4/24/2006

Research Retreat

今天是retreat,我的小老師問:有picnic嗎?
果然有picnic…天氣還不錯,
但整個氣氛是熱烈的,
如果我的小老闆去年就告訴我的,
Hopkins從五年前開始區分為academic & clinical group,
academic的開始有做出一點成果,也因此有了新的辦公室,
很多臨床組的眼紅,有些甚至覺得不平而離去…
今天的agenda裡有一項就在辯論是否要把學術和臨床組做一些聯結(marriage),
把臨床組的promotion(學術上的職位)增加,
但做學術的也不服,認為當年他們也犧牲不少…
今天對於journal club也有些討論和修正,雖然不知道和我前幾天跟老闆提的有沒有關係,
但也樂見journal club能多一些互動…
小老闆再一次鼓勵我的project有些成果,
但我不認為這是很大的進展,也覺得也許之前被他看扁的…
還有一段路要走…
還有段路要走啊,零…
4/20/2006

It's not my day

Don't know what to say to me. Maybe only God can solute my problem.

Same scenario will happen again and again.

That's God want you to know what kind or sin you have or inherit?

Why am I always trapped like this?

Two tough things happened today to make me sad.


First of all, it’s the manager of the dealer. I went to the mechanic first. I told him I care about the "Blinking D4" light which accompanied with trembling gearing. He said, "This could be a big problem", which claimed no big deal 3 days ago. He checked my car with small handheld computer or something. Then he communicates with the secretary or someone with the monitor of that. She just claimed doesn't know what wrong with the car and said the manager with contact me. She wanted me to go home first.
Or course I won't leave like that. I went to the manager directly instead. After he's busying angry with his secretary, he told me that's an electricity problem, which is not warranted owing to I didn't purchase that. I just cannot believe this 'cuz previous interaction between the mechanic and secretary. As you may know, I argued with the manager for a while. He's pretty angry and wanted me leave the office immediately because I think he's a liar.
What can I do? Maybe just go to other mechanic who will tell me the truth? If that's really electricity problem, maybe I just leave that alone for a while 'cuz it doesn't matter right now. I want to "Pretend" angry at least to fight for my right. Although it ended up useless and made me guilty about my angry again. I'm not angry with them after leaving the house immediately. God tells us you can angry but can't commit crime. But I still feel like committing crime after this angry.


Second one is just as you may know, my lack of patience. I want to start and finish the experiment so that miss an important comparing control group. It's still big mistake for me and just because of the hurry. If I can stop for second and really think about that, not just doing thing quickly as an Emergency Physician, maybe I can really start some experiment.

Too bad, man. It's not my day again. But I learnt something

4/19/2006

又忙又亂…

本週忙碌的生活,許多忙亂和unlucky的事情發生在這裡。
週一就忙著把剛買還不到三十天的二手車拿去給mechanic看,趁三十天保固趕快把問題開出來也好…
雖然老美還是本持他們懶散的個性,說我的黃色check engine燈亮是因為加油時沒有熄火所致,但對於我的D4排檔燈會閃,而且車子開起來會抖的事推說要另外跟經理約…於是週三開著又是老問題再犯了…明天又得要花時間跑一趟…反正我美國時間多嘛…
至於美國時間這件事,最近老是做實驗做到半夜才回來也是不行,忙著忙著又把手機忘在實驗室了,我真不知道該說自己什麼才好…
還是要穩住啊,沈住氣啊…
4/13/2006

讓我feel peaceful的實驗…

雖然尚未和我的小老闆談好protocol,
今天我的小老師帶我run了一次preliminary的blood study。
雖然繼他昨天為了趕車忘了放一個Taq Probe讓整個實驗fail後,
我今天在做PCR master mix時也忘了放primer就拿去離心…
整個來說動手做實驗是讓人覺得peaceful的…
第一次design實驗一切都很"奶優"…
想半天還想不出來要做什麼,
而且有點一次想要全包所有變數的感覺…
雖然看了十幾篇只是挑重點看的journal articles,
但這樣做學問還是比較紮實點。
還不錯啦,天氣也愈來愈熱了…
這是KFC喔…
4/10/2006

費城之旅

兩天的費城之旅結束了…
有什麼感想沒有?只有一個:美國也是塞車很嚴重的地方啊…
不過見到韓v真不錯…
忘了數他老人家白髮有沒多幾根,
不過他好像過得挺好了,不知道該用"樂天知命"來形容還是如何?
(韓v,別打我…)
有沒有去參觀P大的實驗室呢?
當然是有的,不過…
各位有看出什麼端倪了嗎?
提示:那天賓州和瑪州都在下大雨… (於是實驗室也在下小雨了…再次韓V別打我…)
所以我就擔任重要角色了… 幫忙接雨水啊,拯救還沒被韓V和雨水殺死的老鼠啦…
(其實我看韓V一看到漏水的LAB還滿高興的,一定是想到下週可以放幾天假啊…)
但還是給人客猜猜那個滿是雨水的圓筒是幹嘛的?
猜對韓v給你抱一下…
費城是比我們巴城來的舒服多了,
加上治安不好的陰影,我只能慶幸自己要學的trauma可以學得到…
其他像是韓v住在大學城的人文和便利我就沒有了…
加油吧,韓v,希望我們都能學到一些東西!!
今天要開始寫我即將要開始做的"全新"blood project了…
挑戰!!從開始就要一手包辦才會成長!!!
4/6/2006

充滿挑戰的生活…

Guess what?
無奇不有的新生活,今天又多了一件不知道是不是該笑的事…
一切還是我的不對,以為高速公路上不該會有會刺破輪胎的金屬片,應該是樹葉吧…
這裡是美利堅耶,台灣才會有這麼慘的事…
於是我又花了幾個小時裝它,也終於在這一生第三次使用千斤頂時會了該有的訣竅…
不過要考一下大家"換"輪胎要怎麼說?
"Change" tire?老美跟你說,我們有賣輪胎,但是沒"stock" tire…
總而言之一句話,開車要小心阿…
不過下午開實驗室週會時,還是有個東西被拿出來檢討…
那就是我搞砸的實驗…
不過是不是我的問題還不知道,因為他們從沒正確run出Streptococcus pneumonia過…
所以,我們下週買到"水"後會讓三個technician,包括我,做過之後才知道…
(人客啊,如果真是我的問題那就好笑了…)
然後我的SONY CLIE也給我出考題了,
離上次小老師把我曾壞掉卡死在hold的電源鍵再卡在HOLD處無法開機,
然後以"破壞"式的方法修好沒幾天,
今天我的MS卡又卡在裡頭了…
(人客啊,SONY真的不行,別像我一樣Laptop,DC,PDA都是$ONY的,想起第一台WALKMAN也是…)
好不容易打開後看到這個景象…
請比比看兩個有啥不同?提示:下面的是好的…
總之,和之前以為我的排氣管斷一樣,還好PDA沒壞,
是副廠SANDISK的卡品質不好而已啦…
我還算好運了吧,我想…
所以,今天這樣的下場我覺得是該笑的…
最後就是雖然我的小老師再次打擊我,說留在這個實驗室沒前途…
但他也承認我們的老闆是個好人,雖然他還是覺得沒學到東西…
所以我還是去念書吧,今天要看他們的IRB,有心得報告再上來…
4/4/2006

被我搞砸的實驗…

今天終於獨立做完一個CSF的PCR了,
(雖然我的小老師不承認這是第一次,他認為是第三次)
但我做的Streptococcus pneumonia在type specific Probe處不知什麼問題,全部fail…
(肯定不是我的問題…因為在uniprobe部份是ok的。)
但被我搞砸的是另外一個小老師Justine幫忙做的STAG(Group B, Streptococcus agalactiae)
我看到他只做二排以為全都是做type specific的,所以把調好的probe和primer...全放一份下去…
這下就慘了,因為他的也是要做成三份的,也就是我只放了一份的probe及primer在三份的DNA裡…
結果當然是慘慘慘,全都做不出來…
被兩個小老師念完後下決心一定要"有耐心",不能把實驗做急診做…
(其實急診也是要有耐心啦,不然病人就…)
總而言之,雖然昨天去Wall Mart在大雷雨中獨自shopping完後的自己陷入因為小老師一句話:
『我已教完你了,你可以畢業回台灣了…』
加上他多日來告訴我這個lab沒有大師,大家也剛好都要relocate…
所以陷入深深的焦慮和憂慮當中,連我的零也救不了我…
(不過不是妳的錯啦,妳知道火星人要怎麼解決壓力的…)
今天又充滿了電力,要好好衝了。下禮拜應該就要開始我自己作的blood project了…
聽大師們grant round還是很過癮…
上次沒有講清楚的,是這裡ID每禮拜二的GR是由R報Case,
然後讓這些已經白髮蒼蒼的老v們作DDx,然後大家投票,
上禮拜報一個很長的HIV結果是lymphoma的case,
然後今天是三個小case但了是大家投票都猜錯的…
小而精是我以前有想過,其實我們科也有人做過的case conference的一種形式,
不一定要找很fancy的case,小而美也是有料的…供大家參考一下…
總之,書是要念的,小的先告退了…
4/2/2006

學而不思則惘

做實驗沒帶腦袋是不行的…
我覺得我骨子裡急診醫師的DNA大概是洗不掉了吧,
連作個實驗想的都是如何才更有效率的把它做好,做完…
但有的時候沒把腦袋帶出去做實驗就很慘了…
另外就是現在也是陷入大量DATA湧入的情形,
如何找到重點,馬上有個在腦中轉換吸收的處理會是我的最大任務…
子曰:學而不思則惘,思而不學則迨…
難啊…
4/1/2006

淡淡的憂愁湧出

好不容易交出GTPCI的申請了,理論上許多事該是塵埃落定,但心頭卻湧出了那麼一點鄉愁…
與同在異鄉還未能見面的韓V通完電話,兩人講的是慷慨激昂,放下電話的我卻又有些失落…
還來不到一個月呢,充實的生活還是少了些什麼,也許不該把自己逼的太緊?
3/31/2006

忙碌的第二週

週末又到,不過本週末給自己出了不少功課…包括明天還要再去實驗室…
跟我的小老師在等電泳結果時看了我的blog,但被他念"時間太多喔?"…
(不過主要是看到我偷拍到他的背影嚇了一跳…)
於是我決定要洗心格面,過了一個很忙碌的一週和頗有展獲的三月底。
約於去了ID,infectious dz和ED的GR,照例還是寫些報告給大家…
不過功課等下還是要做的…
ID(Infectious disease)的GR(Grand Run)照例像我以前看到他們內科系的一樣,
出了一些Hx和PE後就開始讓大家發問和討論,
跟我們科的習慣也一樣啦,不過有料沒料有差,
但Hopkins不知道是不是廟太大了,
以往在討論時看不出來誰是med student誰是attending的情況不見,
還是我老了知道菜鳥長什麼樣子了?(希望不要是後者…)
總之,這些ID man之中有許多也是有在做和我們類似的題目,
在他們的GR中也常請這些專家們Comment,還是個好的resourse
再來就是今天ED的GR了,
雖然J大如同韓V所詬病的,
堂堂一個研究經費佔一半的Institute,
一個ED要開會一個上午7-11四個小時換了三個場地,有點可憐,
不過大家同情一下美國的ED吧,臨床絕對是虧錢的,因為沒保險的都會來ER,而ER又不能Say No…
故臨床組沒有好的辦公室和會議室…(有機會再拍個學術組的Brand New Office給大家看…)
每個禮拜都有四小時的GR,紮實的聽應該不會落後太多…
不過要講的是PureLiang小姐之前所託,
今天剛好GR的講師是個EMS大師…多大尾我還不懂啦,
但今天一堆EMT弟兄也來聽,而他在台上一直不停的電人的情形,
應該滿大條的吧…
好,要講一下重點,讓PureLiang小姐可以再看清楚一點,
把今天最後一個GR也就是EMS的部份記一下…
因為PL小姐業務上的需要,要我打聽一下最近台灣有個轉去安養院的阿公意外死亡的關聯問題…
以下因為時間有限,把我給她的Mail放上來提綱一下…
"Pitfalls in medical direction to EMS" by Peter Pons
He's EMS medical director in Denver, Corolado. There's some good issues he addressed but I will tell you some you'll needed next week.

1. You do have EMTALA, Emergency medical treatment and active labor act. And do you have other law or act mainly regular EMT, paramedics and EMS?

Answer about laws, there are several websites and papers: www.medlaw.com, www.pwwemslaw.com, colwell CB, Pons PT, et al: Claims against a paramedic ambulance service: A-ten-year experience. J Emerg Med 1999; 17:999-1002

這題就沒啥要講解的了…有興趣的連上去看一下…

2. We have private ambulance in Taiwan, too. But the quality is poor there. There's a news about patient died on the ambulance while transferring to nursing home. Some people say it's even better here than the public ambulance of EMS. One of my friends even has been charged for 200$ only transporting to the hospital. Do you have some data for me?

這題就要講一下了,PL小姐要我提供美國人坐救護車的價錢,先給不懂的看倌了解一下,

台灣的救護車以往也是像現在部份民間救護車一樣,會到目的地後或前亂喊價,

所以我想也是要感謝政府的德政,不知道那年後就完全不用收錢,

會在救護車上貼"本車服務完全免費"…

不過大家看看下面美國人坐的價錢就知道為什麼人家可以做得起來了…

Answer

Price about private ambulance: (just estimated)
EMT-basic 300
EMT-advanced 500
EMT-paramedics 800
翻譯一下…
初級救護車 10000台票
中級救護車 16000台票
高級救護車 25000台票
(這是民間救護車價喔)
所以大家可以知道為什麼有的留學生不敢坐救護車,
有的留學生胃出血住院後就只好回台灣躲債了…
The EMT-basic or firefighter as a first responder will triage the p't first, then decided can they handle that or not. That's the normal situation. The patient can refuse advanced service for sure. But the EMT have to tell does he/she have clear mind, use drug or have no ability to decide. To refuse transporting is another issue to address. After all, like your case happens in the news still have to be responsible to the EMT. And or course, you will ask if a DNR p't is going to be sent to hospice, could we use "basic" EMT only? The answer is positive.
那可不可以不要坐呢?
當然是可以的,他們到達現場"評估現場是否安全,必要時戴上手套、口罩、護目鏡"之後,
會進一步評估自己的等級能否處理這類病患,
當然,如果你問,他們也會"報價"…
你不坐,還有一堆文要簽…
(相信我,到美國會把你的英文名字簽的很順…不管啥都一堆名要簽…)
那麼PL小姐要問的民間救護車出事那段…
院間或轉出的轉送問題呢?
什麼樣等級由要轉出的醫師決定,
如果你要省錢轉出DNR的阿伯,叫初級的送也是可以的…
報告完畢,有問題再SKYPE給我…
我去念書了…
3/26/2006

太閒的人…

當一個人動不動就有空在網頁上加東西時,表示他實在太閒了…
新住的地方,終於有一張桌子和窗子了…
不過這個view實在太棒,也不能怪我念書念著又分心了…
built-in的洗衣和烘衣機…
所以貴啊,人客… 不過,也只有外面好看而己…
裡頭還是個留學生的家…就是我啦…
3/24/2006

又是weekend!!

眼看又來到weekend了,來更新一下我的空間吧…
終於來到Hopkins了,總不能不來Grand Round一下吧…
這是今天去內科GR的情形,不過不太有趣,講的是Sim Man的東西,他們作的每樣都是要寫paper的…
所以像我們也有的sim man,他們都可以寫幾篇paper來,
週一二去上的Grant writng,知道一個數字,就是Hopkins的經費一半來自研究,四分之一才是臨床…
週三是第一次進Hopkins的實驗室,
我的小老師是個日本僑民,巴西出生念美國學校,在美國受大學教育,已申請到MPhD!!!
純真的美國口音,難得的日本人…
很親切,也很認真…
我相信,雖然在這個實驗室沒有真正的"大師",但對我的起步是親切的…
畢竟,我還可以run其他的lab…
最厲害的是這兩隻Robot,還沒市售,有它們,所有繁瑣的PCR都免了…
(我還要學什麼呢?)
不過真要判讀Data的時候還是要靠我們吧…
就像這個ABI,有做過的人一定都很了解…
Data不是那麼容易的,正如我的小老師說的,Biology在其他的scientist眼裡還是比較不科學的一門…
如同medicine,太多變數了…
我的lab在11樓,很好的view!! 有人看到急診入口了嗎?真他媽的小…
3/21/2006

介紹一下我知道的Hopkins好了…

http://www.hopkins-cepar.org/index.html

這個CEPAR, Critical Event Preparedness And Response,也是NIH給的大計畫,

從911後,Hopkins的ED做很多Homeland security的東西,

連原本做ACS的幾個Faculty都做BT, BioTerrorism去了…

今天奉部長命問他們的triage,才聊到所謂的EIS…

有興趣的可以Download他們95頁的manual來看看…

http://www.cgmher.org.tw/phpnuke/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&p=822#822

新車到手…

幾經掙扎,還是敗下去了,Honda Accord Coupe V6 3.0L
吃油真凶,不過,美國油便宜多了,
1 Galon= 4 Leter --> 2.6$/Galon = 21NT$/L
不過我還要看看它能跑幾mile…
跑起來是很猛啦,但原本以為操控好像也還好,但還沒機會就是了…
買車的烏龍記要說嗎?
美國人真是慢…只有這個結論…
而且遇到一個新sales中東人…
總之,還是要恨恨的殺價的,原價開16,900,02年的車,跑了60000mile了…
我們開給manager14,000,他很高姿態的叫我們看別台…
我們說只要那台,而且太貴,加上transmission有點鈍…
他給了15,900,說不能再低了…
我們不想要,跟他說再見…他就再降到15,300,講中文給他聽不懂也好…
最後又坐了幾分鐘,還是跟他說再考慮幾天,其實本來沒打算那麼早買的,只是我老閭也一直問…
後來他就降到15,000,成交了…
當然最後再加上稅啥的也快16,000,而且強制險有夠貴的…
anyways,買了就買了…
開始認路了,今天開四趟只有最後一趟沒迷路…
恭喜囉…
3/18/2006

第二週心得報告

不知不覺已來兩週了,明天就是來的滿二週。
像我的室友們問我的,"你是適應強還是來美國過了"?
睡客廳兩個禮拜也覺得還好。
幸運在網上找到熱情的台灣同學們幫忙,
加上兩週來想忙也忙不起來的schedule,
做過心理建設後,的確也就是如此了。
好不容易才跟我的零講幾十分鐘的話,是遠也是近,
今天才在辦公室偷看她的照片(剛才總要裝乖巧),晚上接到他的電話,
覺得兩人並不遠。
下週後要開始忙碌了,
這裡的ED沒能幫我補助的grant writing一萬八的課,
還有終於要開始的實驗課。
不管PhD的申請到底如何,
老閭開給我的Course是讓我安心和充實的。
除了語言是我知道一定得要時間的,
其他我能做的就是專心和放心的過下去了。
美國的月亮真的都比較大,相信我!
3/16/2006

Reading the "laws"

Still doing the same reading, HIPAA, like an endless reading.

I'll be in the lab next week, think that will be more interesting than sit in front of monitor reading these laws.
Being well arranged, I really met a good boss.
Then I can do my best getting around these staff.
But before that, I still have to finish the tiring HIPAA, and application to GTPCI.
3/14/2006

Enjoy your life

Yesterday I heard a "candidate" for med student saying: I wanna be a cardiosurgeon.
But she's kind of small and weak girl. Then I said to her: the life to be a surgeon can be tough.
But she answered my back: "People enjoying doing surgeon don't think they're working while they operating."
Yeh, that's what we should have doing everying. Especially we should pick up something interesting as work. And love you work after that. No matter what you are doing.
Yes, everytime I saw a med student or intern will find the passion I "used" to have.
Actually, I still "can" have this attitude. Let's go!

Struggling

Who knows!
I'm still struggling about retake a TOEFL 'cuz my previous score is 247 lower than 250 which they want for entering the GTPCI...
Tiring job.

HIPAA? Hippo?

寫這一段是因為在美國規定病患穩私的部份很嚴格,
Hopkins前幾年好像還有人體試驗做出人命來過,
所以每一個人都要完HIPAA的教育訓練。
我的台灣室友很快就看完了,但我一邊看一邊很有感觸,
其實我們也是跟著美國走了,很快的人體試驗也要走到這一步來…
所以一天看不到兩個topic,總共要看五個耶…
挑燈夜戰了,我來這裡每一個月的學費都不少呢,得要真的學點東西回去…
What's HIPAA? What the hell I need to know that?
Here's what the HIPAA is.
Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA)
Still Have no idea?
Anyways, before I can go to the hospital or the lab, I should finish some training model. They are HSR, COI, HIPAA GPI, HIPAA IRR and core ethics. Anyone wants to know more? You ask it, you got it.
Human Subjects Research, Conflict of Interest and commitment, General privacy issues, Privacy Issuse Related to Research.
I guess will also have to send that in my seasonal report to CGMH in Taiwan.
How about you, Adrian Han?
Here's my note about these: Also very interesting

PHI, Protected Health Information, Here's what the patient have (summary only)

  • The right to see their PHI and to get a copy of their PHI
  • The right to request restrictions on the way Hopkins uses their PHI
  • The right to ask Hopkins to communicate with them in a confidential way
  • The right to request that their PHI be changed if they believe Hopkins has recorded it incorrectly

    See! There's still lots of hospital won't release the record of patient in Taiwan. That's wrong in the states!!

    And they even have to change what's written on the chart if p't feels wrong about that!! (only "request")

    Example 1: Visitors in a clinic do not need information about patients being seen in the clinic. To protect patient privacy, patient charts should be covered so that patient information is not viewable by other patients or by visitors.

    We just show a list in front of OPD, right?

    Here are situations which the PHI can be disclosed by law here.

  • Reports of births, deaths, and gunshot wounds
  • Information about victims of abuse, neglect, or domestic violence
  • Information required in legal proceedings
  • Information required for law enforcement activities, such as identification of a fugitive, suspect, or missing person
  • Information about some infectious diseases

    • Under Maryland law, the original medical record may not be altered in any way

    WOW, It's too bad for us if anyone wants to do that! But you can add something afterward.

    Bla, bla, bla...

    It's not so easy to do study here. A little bit complicated.

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